RCR Presents: July 4th Food Power Rankings

The best day in the United States’ history is finally here: Independence day, the day where we told the British that we are better and more effective in governing ourselves. Although our country has had it’s ups and downs, we pride ourselves on our ability to come together and be proud of the fact that we are pretty defiant of what other countries expect from us. You know, that whole freedom thing.

Speaking of freedom, I have been given the ability to come up with the first River City Rogue Power Rankings, so I’m taking on the tall task of ranking our favorite July 4th eats. I’ve broken each category down into four: Entrees, Sides, Desserts and Drinks. Let’s do this.

First off, do we call the July 4th eating extravaganza a BBQ or a cookout? So I went to Twitter and as always, the Internet has spoken.

Typical.

Entrees:

  1. Hamburgers/Cheeseburgers
  2. BBQ- Ribs, Pork, Brisket
  3. Grilled Wings/Chicken
  4. Hot Dogs
  5. Steaks

This is going to spur a ton of debate, but there’s a reason to my madness. I look at cookout foods  and weigh the ease of consumption along with how the items taste. It’s rare to have a bad burger and it’s portable so it gets the #1 spot. Don’t be this guy though:

A good barbecue sandwich or ribs are delicious, as well as grilled chicken or wings. Hot dogs are extremely portable, but unless you are eating all beef dogs, they rank really low on the list. Lastly, I love a good steak, but they have no place at a Independence Day cookout.

Sides:

  1. Mac and Cheese
  2. Potato chips
  3. Corn on the cob
  4. Summer salads
  5. Potato salads

Macaroni and cheese is the best side dish, especially if you have a mother or grandmother who has had a recipe handed down from generation to generation. Second are chips, which I find to be one of the more versatile sides. You can eat them alongside a sandwich, burgers, etc. Corn on the cob is middle of the road here only because grilled corn is great, boiled corn should be avoided at all costs. A summer salad is one that usually has fruit and a vinaigrette dressing and is delicious if kept cold. Lastly, Potato salad is kind of trash. I feel there’s only a handful of people on this planet that can make a proper potato salad. Plus, most people leave it out in the summer heat and if it’s not kept cold, forget it.

Desserts:

  1. Ice cream anything (cake, scoops, sandwiches)
  2. Banana pudding
  3. Pie
  4. Chocolate chip cookies
  5. Cake (just don’t bring any, unless it’s like a lemon cake or something)

Hand me an ice cream sandwich or a scoop of Rocky Road and you’ll make me a happy man. Plus it’s a fantastic summertime treat. Secondly, banana pudding. Here in the south, it’s a staple and a delicious one at that. Fruit pies weigh in at 3, for various reasons. Apple pies are overrated, but a cherry or pecan pie is a good reason to celebrate. I love a good cookie, but I feel that cookies aren’t that special for celebrating the birth of an entire nation. Lastly, any cake should be left for people’s birthdays and office celebrations.

Honorable mention: Fruit.

I love a good watermelon (Keep your comments to yourselves, ya heathens) but blueberries and pineapples usually are around as well in a fruit salad situation.

Beverages:

  1. Water (will help you survive the party)
  2. Cold beer
  3. Sweet tea/lemonade
  4. Soda
  5. Straight liquor (only for professionals or newbies to alcohol)

“Wale, why isn’t beer the number one spot?” Well, when you are consuming copious amounts of beer when it’s 90+ degrees outside, you are asking for loads of trouble. Consuming water is the only way you’ll survive an all-day celebration spent outside in the elements. Beer is second, but you have to keep it cold in a cooler or a kiddie pool of ice. Right in the middle is sweet tea and lemonade. Soda is really for kids so it’s fourth and the last option on the list is straight liquor. I love a good shot as much as anyone else, but if you think consuming shots of Fireball at 11:30 A.M. is a good idea, let’s revisit the idea at 4 P.M. when you have passed out on the lawn or on the toilet.

So there you have it, the first RCR Power Rankings. You have opinions so feel free to leave them in the comments and come up with your own power rankings for food regarding the BEST DAY IN AMERICAN HISTORY! AMERICA!!!