It is mock draft season, so to celebrate, we here at RCR are going to draft our own specific categories leading up to the NFL Draft. Because one can only look at so many actual mock drafts without going insane.
This week, we’re selecting breakfast foods, the most controversial of all meal categories. The draft order was randomized among eight RCR contributors, with a traditional draft order adding up to 32 selections.
I had to go with one of the most popular choices for breakfast in bacon, as it is always tasty and the smell is intoxicating.
2. Scrambled Eggs
Eggs are already the most versatile of all the breakfast foods, and scrambled is not only the way you learned to eat them as a kid, but still the most tried and true form. There are fancier and more dynamic forms to make your eggs, but I want a bonafide franchise player at the top of the draft. Yes, I am 26 years old, and I’ll take my eggs scrambled.
One of the main staples of American breakfast and is versatile, filling and delicious.
–Jordan de Lugo
With the Zeke Elliott of breakfast foods off the board at #1, I figured a different tactic was in order to open the draft. When you’re about to throw down on a massive plate of food, you’ve gotta sip on something. I’m a coffee guy anyway, and it’s got the added benefit of giving you a little energy boost to fight off the food coma later on.
5. Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit
For my first pick, I took the best breakfast sandwich combo on the board. The salty, savory bacon with a fried egg and good cheese…you really cannot go wrong.
Tell me about a bagel you haven’t liked. I’ll wait.
7. French Toast
I’m even more elated than the Golden State Warriors must have been when Stephen Curry (No relation to Eddy Curry, Tim Curry, or Ann Curry) slipped to the seventh overall pick of the 2009 NBA draft. Regular consumption of this delicacy will most certainly guarantee you will become the MVP of passing out at your desk before lunch.
8. Chicken & Waffles
Thought for sure this would be a top three pick so I am pretty stoked I could nab it. If you have ever been to Metro Diner and have not ordered this, you’re missing out. Huge portions as well as the “special sauce” (hot sauce and maple syrup mixed).
9. Biscuits & Gravy
One of the most popular breakfast choices in the south, and it is very delicious.
I have had jobs that keep me on my feet in the morning & others where I sit on my butt. Regardless, when I want something hearty without weighing me down, it’s got to be oatmeal. Great in the winter, great with toppings, great out of the instant package, another versatile winner.
11. Huevos Rancheros
A staple in the south that features a one-of-a-kind flavor profile and is almost always served in massive quantities.
–Jordan de Lugo
12. Chorizo Omelette
Every good breakfast needs a centerpiece. And while pancakes, waffles and other carb-heavy dishes are delicious, it’s hard to beat a nice big omelet with chorizo to bring a little heat. Throw in some peppers and onions and top it off with a little salsa and you’re in business.
13. Belgian Waffle
Needs almost no explanation. Can hold honey or syrup in its deep nooks.
14. Cheese Grits
Cheese grits and my Grandma’s pork steak are two of my favorite breakfast foods. Albeit not the healthiest selections, they hold me over until at least 1 p.m.
15. Sunny Side Up Egg, Pepper Jack + Bacon on English Muffin
16. Cinnamon Rolls
All my life I have been a sucker for cinnamon rolls. The Pillsbury Grands ones are probably my favorite. Note: Sticky buns are technically different, but I was nicknamed “Sticky Bun” for a while because I ate them so much.
You can customize them any way you would like.
18. Pecan Waffle
I love eating breakfast out, and there are a ton of solid options to get when one does so. None leaves me quite as satisfied as when I get a pecan waffle, preferably from Waffle House. Just the right amount of density, just the right amount of butter, just the right amount of crunchy sweetness.
With this thin and airy version of the pancake, the possibilities are endless from savory to sweet.
–Jordan de Lugo
20. Home Fries
It didn’t take long for hash browns to go off the board, and growing up in New England, I didn’t even know grits were a thing until I was almost 20 years old. With that in mind, I had to go with home fries in this spot. Whatever your main breakfast dish is, home fries come through as a strong side.
21. Maple Sausage
Adds a nice touch of sweetness as a breakfast meat and I feel might edge out bacon on most days.
22. Orange Juice with Pulp
No morning meal is made without Florida’s Natural orange juice with pulp (some or most).
In the steal of a “stacked draft,” I chose pancakes 23rd overall. A left tackle who effectively serves pancakes would go in the top five of any NFL draft, as he would be an asset on the field and in the kitchen for every OL Sunday morning brunch. Partaking in pancakes multiple times per morning is also a great way to maintain a 300-plus pound frame.
24. Chicken Minis
What a steal in the third round! Continuing my quest for carbohydrate overload, I could probably wolf down 10 of these bad boys. My only problem is deciding what sauce I want to dip in them.
25. Cold Pizza
I chose cold pizza over donuts, because I am one of those people that can eat pizza hot or cold, and the day after ordering it. But debating between pizza and donuts was a hard choice, as hot and fresh donuts are very irresistible, but pizza for me always wins.
Surprised to find this breakfast staple still available, as unsatisfying as it may be to quashing morning hunger, yet good enough that you keep eating them despite how terrible you feel afterwards. Rarely have I met a donut I don’t like, from national chains like Krispy Kreme & Dunkin’, to local favorites like The Donut Shoppe in Arlington (a cruel temptation on my daily morning commute).
27. Eggs Benedict
It combines the perfect amount of richness from the hollandaise and crunch from the bread.
–Jordan de Lugo
Sometimes you want to take a more refreshing approach for breakfast. And for that, pineapple delivers. It’s much more substantial fruit than say, blackberries, and I’d much rather eat a few pieces of pineapple than chug a glass of juice. Pineapple’s great all the time, of course – Hawaiian pizza wouldn’t exist otherwise.
A versatile pick. Granola, perhaps the most versatile of all the cereal, can be mixed in with yogurt, as a bowl of cereal, or as a handful on the run.
30. Grandma’s Pork Steak
*See 14th overall pick description* Considering all four of my times on the clock I was either driving or on the radio, I am thrilled with my breakfast future.
31. Kind Bar
I find it essential to stock my pantry with granola bars of some “kind.” Clif bars and Nature’s Own are fine, but Kind fills my most glaring needs. It enables me to start every morning with the energy of a Mighty Morphin’ Protein Ranger.
32. Toaster Strudels
The fancier version of the Pop-Tart. My mom never bought these for me when I was a kid so I made a point to buy them when I was on my own. Apple is the best, followed closely by raspberry.
Let us know what went too high or too low, and what categories we should draft in the future at @RiverCityRogue on Twitter or firstname.lastname@example.org.